September 11, 2006 Ben

just a lyrical blog entry today.. nothing too special..

I walk the line
Leave it all behind
I’ve been waiting forever
Let’s go back in time
When I could read your mind
So I’ve been waitin’
It took a season’s going by
To know it’s not my fault

I tried to be perfect.
Tried to be honest.
Tried to be everything that you ever wanted.
I tried to be stronger.

Tried to be smarter.
Tried to be everything but you…

It’s been so long
Since you’ve been home
I used to wait up forever.
Used to say a prayer
Wishing you were there.
And I’m still waiting…

You told me once
You’d show up,
But I fell for that before
I fell to pieces

Then I woke up to no one
Just a picture of Jesus
And a house left in pieces
And it took a season’s going by
To know it’s not my fault.

I want you
I need you
I want to believe you
I want you
I need you
I want to believe you

I tried be perfect
Tried to be honest
Tried to be everything but you…

"Everything That You Ever Wanted"

Hawk Nelson

Just feeling a little down today.. One of those rainy depressing kinda days. Nothing has really taken my mind off my current situation. This long distance relationship is really killing me.. The times I go without being with my gf is just awful. This place just doesn’t feel like home.. Doesn’t feel like I should be here. I’ll try to keep my mind on my work, but some days it’s more difficult than others. I’m just tired…

I hope this vacation will help me a bit, but I doubt it. Just more time alone… I don’t like it, it’s really not me. I’m wasting away here. :( Eh well.. enough about my life. Guess I’ll get on with everything. I’m studying more about computers.. hopefully that will allow me to look for a good job somewhere else. I really don’t like Lynchburg anymore… Too many bad memories and too many people that I don’t want to run into. Not sure what I’ll do.. but something’s going to have to change or I’m just going to go mad.

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