July 27, 2007 Ben

a big step…

Welp.. Monday is the big day. I close on my first house. Seems that I should be jumping up and down.. and yeah, I’m happy that I’m taking this step. However it also makes me sad. I guess it just means I’m getting older and older. I dunno.. On more than one occasion my mind drifts to the fact that my grandpa Jones can’t be here to see how well I’ve done and how well I’ve done for myself and how I’ve grown to be a pretty decent person. …. It really does get to me. I know God has blessed me with this chance to be on my own for real and I am very grateful and I thank Him as much as I can. Just kinda wish my grand-daddy long legs could see it too. …. It’s really hard for me to write this. I guess that sort of explains the previous entry. I know it’s a love song, but it’s a reminder to me that I never really got a chance to say good bye. I’m very fortunate to have my other grandparents and I love them dearly and I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose them, although I do know that it will devastate me totally. To my grandparents: I love you all.. I love every single thing about you, you guys are always with me.

Never thought I’d really start feeling myself get older, but it’s starting to happen. I don’t want any of you to get me wrong. I have a great life.. a great family that loves me and people around me that genuinely care about me. I thank God whenever I get a chance for all that He has given me. I may not be the richest person I know.. but I’m happy. Sometimes certain things eat away at me, but other than that.. I’m very thankful. Wish me luck on Monday.. hopefully if everything goes well.. I’ll be doing lots of cleaning at my new place *smile*

To my grand-dad: I love you very much and I look forward to the day when we see each other again. Until then I hope you’re watching me, cause I miss you dearly and I hope you’re proud of me.

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