June 27, 2009 Ben

first date advice from a guy..

It’s always fun to watch someone go on a first date.. Somtimes you can see them at a resturant, both awkwardly eating while trying to say something meaningful.  I know that look, because I’ve had it many times.  I think that’s the thing I hate most about dating… the first date.  You should both be issues a valume before the date to relax each other.  I know there are probably people out there who have been on so many first dates that this isn’t even needed.  Well those people can just skip right over this.. this little blog entry is for the rest of us!

1. Smells (*sniff*, *sniff*)
There are good ones and bad ones..

  • The good ones are the ones of that steak you ordered and are patiently awaiting on.  The bad smells are the ones that our spewing forth from your pores because before you went on this date you covered yourself (or bathed) in some sort of cologne or fragrance.  There is nothing more repulsive in this world (as far as your nose is concerned) than wearing way too much of this stuff.  I don’t care if it’s the really nice, expensive perfume that you ordered from Europe.  Everything in moderation!
  • Another example.  You smoke.. She doesn’t…  (or vise versa).  If you’re the smoker, do them a favor.  Changing into some freshly washed clothes that you haven’t smoked in. Trust me on this.. they will smell it and smoke stinks.  I’ve smoked before.. I know.. it’s not a good smell and never will be.  Now if you both smoke, then ignore that little rule of thumb because neither one of you will be able to smell it! :D
  • And my last bit of advice in this area that I don’t think needs to be mentioned, but sometimes I can be wrong… Take a bath.  Use soap and shampoo.  (Cologne is not a substitute for this rule)

2.  Avoid anything too greasy.
Greasy foods are usually very messy.  The last thing you want is to end up with food all over your hands and some on your clothes.  Especially if they’re really nice clothes that you picked out special for the date.  Foods to avoid would be anything that has ‘smoke house’ or ‘bbq’ in it :D.  I’m going to make the assumption that you’ve been to this restaurant before and you know it’s a good place.  I’m not going to tell you to have a salad, but perhaps something that doesn’t require you to pick it up with your hands.  Something that can be eaten with a knife and fork.

3.  Who pays?!?
One simple answer… The guy does.  This is an old fashioned rule, but I think that most women should agree that it’s okay to let him pick this one up.  Don’t let it feel like you owe him one.  You don’t.  It’s just polite for him to pay because he asked you out (sometimes).  I’m not sure of the rule if the girl asked the guy out.. Afraid that’s never happened to me.  Keep in mind that just because he’s paying it’s not an excuse to go overboard and order the most expensive thing on the menu.  If you do that, it might come off that you do plan to repay him somehow or that you’re high maintenance and require only the best of food.  (Hey.. if you’re into that.. go for it.  Personally I don’t know many guys who actually dig high maint. chicks.)

4. Clothes?
I’m going to make this simple.. Everyone has their own style.. Just dress as you normally would or find out what the restaurant requires and dress accordingly.  I’m not one to tell you what looks good or what doesn’t.. I have no fashion sense.. so go with what feels good.

5. What to talk about.
These seem like common sense stuff.. Try to find something in common. Similar interests and go to town. If you have none, maybe you two shouldn’t be dating? :)

6. Places to avoid.
I would say movies.. They’re great but no time to talk. Just stare blankly at the screen.. But if you do go.. DON’T TALK.  Unless you’re both talkers ;)  But if one of you isn’t, it’ll drive that person crazy.  Dark alleys or secluded areas… Just for personal safety.

The rest of the afternoon should be standard operating procedure and yet different for each person :)

Sighs and hazards ahead!  These are thing you should be on the look out for and avoid like a bad accident.

1.  “Want to go back to my place and watch a movie”?   – Translation – “Want to go back to my place and eventually end up making a mistake that bother of will regret”?  Heading back to his or her place after a date should be a no no.. Cuddling up watching a movie usually leads to lots of touchy feely that you might want to avoid on a first date :)

2. If you notice he or she is spending more time on the phone and texting than talking to you.. It’s probably a good sign that you both can end the evening a little early and you can go enjoy doing something else instead of spending time with a person that’s more interested in his or her phone.

3. Avoid topics like.. “What would our wedding be like?” ,”what do you think our children would look like?”  I know these are crazy questions, but I’ve seen it and ran away screaming.  Keep in mind.. this is a first date.. a bit more intimate than talking to a stranger, but not much more.

4. Being picked up.. Unless you don’t have a car, it’s always a good idea to meet somewhere in your own transportation. That way if the date goes south, you’re not dependant on him or her for a ride home.  You can always leave and they won’t know where you live.

These again are my personal experiences and stories I’ve heard from friends.  I hope it helps, but please don’t consider this advice any sort of gospel.  It’s just one person’s opinions and should be treated as such.  Adios people.

One last bit of advice that I would say is mandatory.  Have a bit of personal protection knowledge.  Date rape happens and isn’t times.  Take a course.. talk to a friend who knows martial arts and get them to show you some basic moves.  You may think you know someone, but that person could change. You just never can be too sure.  Also don’t let your drink leave your site if you’re getting the vibe that this guy might not be the most honest and trustworthy person.  Of course if you get that vibe, you might just wanna bail on the whole thing :D.  Good luck out there!

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