pitfalls of modern dating

February 18, 2010
Posted in General
February 18, 2010 Ben

pitfalls of modern dating

Since I’ve returned to the single word almost a year ago, I decided to try my hand at online dating since it has worked for me in the past even if only temporarily.   Since I’ve been off and on a lot of these sites, I thought I would break down my experiences with them.  This is more of an article of me venting, so prepare yourself!

First I tried my hand at POF (Plentyoffish.com).  After all.. it is free and despite the fact that I met my ex girlfriend through there, I have usually had somewhat good luck through it.  After surfing through many of the profiles I discovered that believe it or not 3 or 4 years later the same women were on here from before.  I think there is a small community of women that are undatable in this area.  I realize some of them are looking for the ‘casual encounter’ thing, which might as well translate into ‘slut’.  However most of them are still looking for that serious relationship that never comes.  I guess you could count me in that category these days.  After a couple of random messages, winks and whatnot I came to the realization that pretty much 99% of the women on this site are either 1) severely overweight or 2) have 3-4 kids… or sometimes both!  While I don’t want to sound shallow.. I have tried to take care of my body at least a little bit and wouldn’t mind someone who has done the same.  I am also not ready for a pre-made family.  I’m not ready to be the role model for someone’s kid.  After a week or so of that, I canceled my account and vowed never to return again.

The next site I tried was OkCupid.com.  This one is very well designed, also free, and has great functionality.  Biggest problem though…  The same girls are on it.  Well not exactly the same as POF, but some.  Also the same ones have been members for quite some time.  This site suffers from a little thing called ‘I’m too good for you’-girls.  Most of these women are average looking; nothing you would see on the big screen.  However pretty much 99% of them are way to stuck up their own asses to realize when someone’s trying to be friendly to them (I have a friend who was also a member of this site tell me the exact same thing).  I’m sorry ladies, but chances of you meeting some super hot, rich model who respects you as a woman and treats you like a queen on a singles dating website is about 1,000,000,000 to 1.  Sorry to say it, but the guys that are on these sites are on here for a reason.  Most of us don’t like bars, don’t like clubbing, and aren’t on this month’s cover of GQ.  Yes, some of us are mildly attractive even sometimes cute.  There are always exceptions to this rule.  If you do find this rich, cute, GQ model on these sites it’s most likely because they are looking for a quick ‘hook-up’ and know that the girls on these sites are sometimes not always the most secure and are almost always complete strangers.  Can you think of anyone more perfect for a one-night stand?  This site also ended up on my canceled list.  I would like to add one thing..  Both of these last sites are free.. which says something about their owners that they don’t want to make money off of your loneliness.  Okcupid is a great site for having fun.. It very well might be the area I live in that has the stuck up women.  I would suggest that you at least try Cupid if you’re single and looking to do the online dating thing.

Well now we’re away from the free sites who try to care about you being with someone.  We’re not onto the pay sites… I will wrap this up quickly because I do not have many positive thing to say about these:

  1. Match.com – Expensive.. There’s a special place in hell for people that try to make money off of another person’s suffering.. even if it is being single.
  2. eharmony.com – You’ll grow old and die before filling out their page after page of questions.. I was actually a member of this site (they have specials every now and then for their membership).  After filling out all those questions it really was a site just like all the others.  You chose from a list of women the system thinks matches you.  Most of them at least live 70+ miles away from you no matter how you change the setting to tell it you only want LOCAL people.  You have to jump through so many hoops to get to talk to someone it’s kind of silly.  When it comes down to it though.. the profiles are the same.  A picture and a summary.  Despite it’s TV advertising that says it’s more than a photo and a paragraph.. Yes.. it’s a photo a, a paragraph, and about 1,000 questions to determine if you’re insane.  On a side note.. I signed up one time and it told me that there was no way it could help me find a match!  That’s very reassuring and I feel sorry  for anyone else who got that message.  Might as well translate into.. “sorry, you’re hopeless.. end it now” :)
  3. Yahoo personals.. This is just like match.com.  Might as well have been the same web designer that made it.  Costs a lot of money and you’re basically picking people with the prettiest face and most compelling writing skills.

I suppose I shouldn’t complain too much though. It’s not like I’m out there looking in bars and coffee shops for my true love.  I suppose I just think that my true love is like me.. Tired of looking in those places and resorting to the internet for love.  Just kidding!  I don’t believe in that true love stuff anymore :)  I think there are plenty of people out there for one person.. Just a matter of finding them and if you’re patient then maybe one day you will.  If you don’t though.. screw it!  You’ll probably live longer and have more money than your married counter parts…  You’ll definitely have cooler toys :)

This is my rant for the day.. I hope you enjoyed it and it didn’t put you to sleep!  Have a lovely weekend everyone.

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