March 25, 2010 Ben

about me continued still.

I’ve not given up.. just become a bit delayed :D

The next couple of years were spent being a bad student, drinking and smoking at school, and having lots of parties.  I met my second real girlfriend while doing all of this.  Her name was Shannon.  This would be the person to set my bad luck with women trend.  She would be the person I would lose my virginity to and the first person to break my heart.  We both decided dating simply enough after holding hands while hanging out at her house.  I think we had dated for maybe a month before we all decided to take a camping trip together.  My sister, her future ex-husband, her and I went to Piney River.  There we all got way too drunk to really know what was going on.  Before I knew it I was staggering around and ended up in the same tent as her.  I must say.. that was probably the worst experience of my life.  It was way too difficult to pull of while drunk and in general not a pretty sight.  I’ll leave it at that.  A couple of months later I would walk in on her feeling up another guy at a party she didn’t know I would be at.  Again I ran into problems with the opposite sex and again Carrie would pull me through this tough time with comforting phone calls.  I really think she helped me through many of the bad parts of my life and what’s sad is I can never repay this debt.

After a messy break up with Shannon, in my infinite wisdom I decided it would be a good idea to date another one of my sister’s friends.  Since the last one turned out so splendidly I thought this would be a good idea.  It’s funny, but thinking back I really was a stupid youth.  I wonder once I get older if I’ll look back at my thirties with the same disdain.  I started dating a girl named Tonya.  She was very sexually adventurous and she taught me that sex could actually be enjoyable and not the horrible experience that I had with my previous girlfriend.  I suppose that things were good for a while before the drama and head aches came knocking again.  She decided one night that she would stay with her friend and some how magically her ex boyfriend showed up.  Needless to say.. stuff happened between them and again I was broken hearted.  I decided to forgive her and continue with the relationship only to have more drama with her ex boyfriend, her and I.  I know now that she really wasn’t worth all the fuss.  She was a pathological liar and severely twisted in the head.

While all this was happening, my school work suffered.  I ended up not finishing high school, but instead picking up my GED which was a mistake, but by the time I realized it and tried to get back into high school they refused because I already had a diploma or equivalent.  I had screwed up my educational life by this time with very poor decisions.  I really can’t tell you what I was thinking back then, but it must have made sense back then.

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