Well the day came a lot quicker than I thought it was going to! This is honestly the closest I’ve been to getting married. Sure, there were a couple of times before this when I ALMOST got married, but nothing like this. For a while there I honestly thought I just wasn’t the marrying type. That’s to say that I probably wouldn’t be picked to be married, just like I wasn’t picked to be on the kickball team in high school.
It’s funny, I never thought I’d really get married, so the stress and foresight of getting married wasn’t there. I think I had a picture in my mind and I’m quickly realizing that the picture wasn’t exactly accurate. I do know that dating a single mom and marrying one are two completely different things. The kid that you could hang out with and be ‘that cool guy that mom’s dating’ isn’t the same guy that’s there when you’re living with the kid. She’s only been there a couple of nights when I was there, but they weren’t exactly the most promising nights. My hopes is that things will calm down after we get into more of a routine.
The past month has been so stressful and full of bickering that it has made me extremely nervous about tomorrow. I know the time to back out has passed and it’s just my brain going into panic mode that’s telling me to run. I’m trying to tell my brain that change isn’t always bad and that things have gotten better over time, but you know how brains are.. they don’t always listen to reason.
I’m going to give this marriage thing a 100% effort. I am pessimistically optimistic and hopeful that the people that my fiance and I have been in this last month aren’t the people that are getting married tomorrow. If I’m proven wrong, then I guess we’ll just be another statistic, but if I’m right I think it would lead a very happy life for both of us.